Wolfe is mad. He can't run with the pack.
Aka stopped running towards something ugly that i saw.
Right shin, sore since September is still playing up. Today saw a sports physician at OPSMC. The statoinary hop test was most revealing. Pain on each landing. He thinks its a stress reaction, not a fracture at this stage.
Management plan is no running or long walkies for 4 weeks. Sports massage recommended. Re-visit in new year with x-ray of leg in hand. (huh?)
Got the green light to ride in to work. 'bout time I started doing that.
Psychologically I'm taking the running ban ok at the moment. Running's been unenjoyable for 2 months due to naggy ache anyway.
Kms declaration:
Oct 08: 88.
Nov 08: 78.
----
Today's title is the opening line from 'Wolfe', track 2 on Steve Kilbey's new album 'Piankiller'. Can't get over how creative yet overlooked SK has been since the Under the Milkyway spotlight moved on. He's so prolific with his albums with The Church, part time collaborations, solo stuff, arkwork and wonderful blog writing. Quantity and, as I'm discovering, quality stuff. How anyone can churn out entries in a blog with such vivid imagery on a daily basis is beyone me. As for this Paikiller album that I've just bought, first listen had many 'that's perfects' along side many 'wtfs?' By the time the 3rd listen was done I was completely sold. The following tracks I find absoluetly superb:
Outbound
Wolfe
Celestial
Chystalline Rush
(first 4 tracks, wow!).
Oenone
Not what you say (the first 15 mins)
The rest are all very good, no duds.
78 min CD (incl 15 min of aquatic sounds & whale calls).
Full lyrics for Wolfe:
Wolfe is mad
He can't run with the pack
Ah things went bad
Out the back
Ah Wolfe is sad
Ah I don't know
Crash his pad
Out in the snow
It's like a thousand little angels on the point of a pin
There's no sense in describing the place that he's in
It's like a filigree diamond filched from a ring
Just keep still and stop
Howling
Wolfe feels good
Ah I'm not sure
If he couldAnymore
Ah Wolfe can't see
Ah that's no good
He can't see the tree
For the wood
It's like a thousand little angels on the point of a pin
There's no sense in describing the place that he's in
It's like a filigree diamond filched from a ring
Just keep still and stop
Howlin.....
Mature, clever, imaginative music played by talented people who've lived a bit of life and have something to say obut their observations. Not safe & predicable 'Adult Orientated Rock'. What 'AOR' radio stations play in utopia.
---------
Music is my emotional outlet.
------
Meanwhile:
I found this on a Schizoid forum. It's written by the wife (possiblly now ex-wife) of someone likely to have a Schizoid Personality Style/Disorder (not my wife). How'd ya like to be married to him?:
"First off, he has always been very absent of emotion. Unfortunately, I think he was able to 'hide' it better when we were dating. After we got married, the real issues began. The situations I have noticed are:
Emotions--simply put, he has none. Nothing excites him, he has no hobbies except surfing the internet and watching tv. There is no cuddling, canoodling, or expressions of love with the exception of occasional hand-holding. Nothing is ever exciting at all--I could tell him he won the lottery, and he would look blankly at me and say "cool". The only emotion he expresses is anger or indifference. There is no "i love you" from him without a lot of prodding--which I no longer do. If he cannot or will not say it on his own, then I don't want to hear it.
Romance and Sex---this is a hard one for me. While sex has never been a high priority for him, it has gotten significantly worse. If I try to initiate sex, it does not happen. If we have sex, he is the one who initiates it. While we are having sex, it is very uncomfortable. There is no foreplay, no kissing, he literally lays there and asks me what I want him to do to me. He is totally silent during sex--he never says a word at all. When he ejaculates, he is totally silent. It is as if there is no pleasure at all in what he is doing. On the topic of ejaculation, he is very "speedy". Its almost like he just wants to get it over with as quickly as possible. There are the occasional weeks where we will have sex a couple of times, but usually its a 7-10 day stretch. I realize this is not excessive by any means, but its really more about the quality of the intimacy. Its just not there.
As far as romance goes, there is none. No opening of doors anymore, no flowers, no polite gestures. I am the one to plan date night when we do have one, he would be content eating at the same restaurant every day. I have never heard the words you look nice, you are beautiful, I am so lucky to have you, etc. I am not trying to toot my own horn, but I am an attractive woman. I get picked up by men all the time, and I take very good care of myself. I have had previous relationships where these things were never an issue. Also, he rarely masturbates. Maybe 4 or 5 times a year. He calls me a freak because I want to have sex a couple times a week.
Communication--not good at all. We will sit for hours and he will never say a word. His main mode of communication is farting or burping. When he calls me on his lunch break, he just sits there on the phone and says "yeah" over and over. I try to have a conversation with him--just asking how is your day, whats for lunch, etc and I get 1 word answers, and then silence. I cannot approach him about any big issues (relationship, financial, personal, or aggravations) because he will either just shut down and not say a word, or he will find a way to make it all my fault, make me feel like crap, and I end up apologizing. He never wants to talk about anything--even fun stuff. I try to keep it light to keep him talking to me, but he is just very argumentative and when you give another opinion, he shoots it down and then quits talking.
Friends--he has NO close friends at all. His cell phone never rings. In the past year, he has gone out with another guy 2 times. Both times were car related, and 1 time I was with him. He has no close confidants at all.
Family and Pets--his parents died at a very young age, and he has written all of his family off except his grandmother. He hates his cousins, his sister, aunts and uncles, and has zero communication with any of them. Its not their choice, its his. His grandmother is very important to him, he calls her everyday. But they never "talk". She tells him about her day, and then they hang up. We have 2 dogs, and they are the center of his universe. They are the receivers of any love and affection. It almost makes me jealous because they get hugs and kisses and love and cuddling that I never get.
He never balances a checkbook, and does not pay any of our bills. I do all of that. He does not cook, and aside from cleaning up after the dogs, he does not clean. "
I think I can safely say I'm not as bad as him, but we're on the same tram. I'll try to use him as motivation to get on a different route.
----
I 'spose I'll keep up the sporadic posting, even though the interest rates appear to be equivalent to a Sharia Bank's.....
Right shin, sore since September is still playing up. Today saw a sports physician at OPSMC. The statoinary hop test was most revealing. Pain on each landing. He thinks its a stress reaction, not a fracture at this stage.
Management plan is no running or long walkies for 4 weeks. Sports massage recommended. Re-visit in new year with x-ray of leg in hand. (huh?)
Got the green light to ride in to work. 'bout time I started doing that.
Psychologically I'm taking the running ban ok at the moment. Running's been unenjoyable for 2 months due to naggy ache anyway.
Kms declaration:
Oct 08: 88.
Nov 08: 78.
----
Today's title is the opening line from 'Wolfe', track 2 on Steve Kilbey's new album 'Piankiller'. Can't get over how creative yet overlooked SK has been since the Under the Milkyway spotlight moved on. He's so prolific with his albums with The Church, part time collaborations, solo stuff, arkwork and wonderful blog writing. Quantity and, as I'm discovering, quality stuff. How anyone can churn out entries in a blog with such vivid imagery on a daily basis is beyone me. As for this Paikiller album that I've just bought, first listen had many 'that's perfects' along side many 'wtfs?' By the time the 3rd listen was done I was completely sold. The following tracks I find absoluetly superb:
Outbound
Wolfe
Celestial
Chystalline Rush
(first 4 tracks, wow!).
Oenone
Not what you say (the first 15 mins)
The rest are all very good, no duds.
78 min CD (incl 15 min of aquatic sounds & whale calls).
Full lyrics for Wolfe:
Wolfe is mad
He can't run with the pack
Ah things went bad
Out the back
Ah Wolfe is sad
Ah I don't know
Crash his pad
Out in the snow
It's like a thousand little angels on the point of a pin
There's no sense in describing the place that he's in
It's like a filigree diamond filched from a ring
Just keep still and stop
Howling
Wolfe feels good
Ah I'm not sure
If he couldAnymore
Ah Wolfe can't see
Ah that's no good
He can't see the tree
For the wood
It's like a thousand little angels on the point of a pin
There's no sense in describing the place that he's in
It's like a filigree diamond filched from a ring
Just keep still and stop
Howlin.....
Mature, clever, imaginative music played by talented people who've lived a bit of life and have something to say obut their observations. Not safe & predicable 'Adult Orientated Rock'. What 'AOR' radio stations play in utopia.
---------
Music is my emotional outlet.
------
Meanwhile:
I found this on a Schizoid forum. It's written by the wife (possiblly now ex-wife) of someone likely to have a Schizoid Personality Style/Disorder (not my wife). How'd ya like to be married to him?:
"First off, he has always been very absent of emotion. Unfortunately, I think he was able to 'hide' it better when we were dating. After we got married, the real issues began. The situations I have noticed are:
Emotions--simply put, he has none. Nothing excites him, he has no hobbies except surfing the internet and watching tv. There is no cuddling, canoodling, or expressions of love with the exception of occasional hand-holding. Nothing is ever exciting at all--I could tell him he won the lottery, and he would look blankly at me and say "cool". The only emotion he expresses is anger or indifference. There is no "i love you" from him without a lot of prodding--which I no longer do. If he cannot or will not say it on his own, then I don't want to hear it.
Romance and Sex---this is a hard one for me. While sex has never been a high priority for him, it has gotten significantly worse. If I try to initiate sex, it does not happen. If we have sex, he is the one who initiates it. While we are having sex, it is very uncomfortable. There is no foreplay, no kissing, he literally lays there and asks me what I want him to do to me. He is totally silent during sex--he never says a word at all. When he ejaculates, he is totally silent. It is as if there is no pleasure at all in what he is doing. On the topic of ejaculation, he is very "speedy". Its almost like he just wants to get it over with as quickly as possible. There are the occasional weeks where we will have sex a couple of times, but usually its a 7-10 day stretch. I realize this is not excessive by any means, but its really more about the quality of the intimacy. Its just not there.
As far as romance goes, there is none. No opening of doors anymore, no flowers, no polite gestures. I am the one to plan date night when we do have one, he would be content eating at the same restaurant every day. I have never heard the words you look nice, you are beautiful, I am so lucky to have you, etc. I am not trying to toot my own horn, but I am an attractive woman. I get picked up by men all the time, and I take very good care of myself. I have had previous relationships where these things were never an issue. Also, he rarely masturbates. Maybe 4 or 5 times a year. He calls me a freak because I want to have sex a couple times a week.
Communication--not good at all. We will sit for hours and he will never say a word. His main mode of communication is farting or burping. When he calls me on his lunch break, he just sits there on the phone and says "yeah" over and over. I try to have a conversation with him--just asking how is your day, whats for lunch, etc and I get 1 word answers, and then silence. I cannot approach him about any big issues (relationship, financial, personal, or aggravations) because he will either just shut down and not say a word, or he will find a way to make it all my fault, make me feel like crap, and I end up apologizing. He never wants to talk about anything--even fun stuff. I try to keep it light to keep him talking to me, but he is just very argumentative and when you give another opinion, he shoots it down and then quits talking.
Friends--he has NO close friends at all. His cell phone never rings. In the past year, he has gone out with another guy 2 times. Both times were car related, and 1 time I was with him. He has no close confidants at all.
Family and Pets--his parents died at a very young age, and he has written all of his family off except his grandmother. He hates his cousins, his sister, aunts and uncles, and has zero communication with any of them. Its not their choice, its his. His grandmother is very important to him, he calls her everyday. But they never "talk". She tells him about her day, and then they hang up. We have 2 dogs, and they are the center of his universe. They are the receivers of any love and affection. It almost makes me jealous because they get hugs and kisses and love and cuddling that I never get.
He never balances a checkbook, and does not pay any of our bills. I do all of that. He does not cook, and aside from cleaning up after the dogs, he does not clean. "
I think I can safely say I'm not as bad as him, but we're on the same tram. I'll try to use him as motivation to get on a different route.
----
I 'spose I'll keep up the sporadic posting, even though the interest rates appear to be equivalent to a Sharia Bank's.....
posted by Also Ran at
1:29 PM
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